One month

One month.

One busy, eventful month.

That's how long it's been since my last post. Every day is eventful when you have twins. But this past month has been a doozy!

 Since my last post, my dynamic duo has turned 5 months old. Wow! Five months! That's almost half a year. How did this happen?!
 We have undergone several doctors visits and invasive tests for Beckett, traveled to Nashville to take him to Vanderbilt for a cat scan and possible surgery, only to receive the blessed news that his condition (strangling, choking, persistent vomiting) would improve with time and proper medication.

Talk about stress! And RELIEF!

Also this month, I have entered the world of homeschooling! Yes, HOMESCHOOLING!

I'm thrilled beyond measure to be able to homeschool my 1st grader. 

If someone had told me 6 years ago, that one day I would be home with 3 children, driving a mini-van, homeschooling and LOVING all of it...I would have laughed in their face. 

I was just so sure I was destined for bigger things than that.

Oh, but now I'm seeing so clearly, that there is nothing bigger I could possibly be doing.

Being home with my babies, homeschooling my oldest...these are the biggest blessings in my life. I am so grateful for my hard working husband. He is really a solid rock for this family, supportive and patient even when things get hairy...which they are a lot of the time. Hairy, that is. 

Since beginning this homeschool gig, I'm perpetually exhausted. Mentally. It is a HUGE commitment. I'm constantly worrying that I'm not challenging her enough, that I could be doing something better...I hemmed and hawed over curriculum, choosing what I felt was the best possible fit for my imaginative little girl. I painstakingly fill out my lesson plan every night, and so far we have conquered everything each day, but more than just cramming information into her little brain, I want to foster her imagination, nurture her spirit, teach her important life skills, allow her to figure out what it is that makes her...her. 

Pulling her out of public school in the middle of the year was a tough decision, and one that I did not take lightly...I did this knowing that although my husband had given me his blessing, he did not approve of the timing, which made it 100 times harder, but it was right. It was time.  

The transition has been tough, but smooth. My house? Messy. My kitchen table? Cluttered. ALWAYS cluttered. Our schedule? Crammed. Isabella? Happy as a clam. Has not even asked once to go back to public school, she loves it! 

Hallelujah.

Library day, and Isabella pretending to be a newspaper reporter. :)
I apologize for the small size of these pictures..they're from my iphone, somehow toting around my bulky Nikon just isn't conducive to my diaper bag...

Football is playing in the background, my house is a mess and I have a nursling asleep in my lap whose head makes it hard for typing.

Football sounds make me feel twitchy.

It's been one of those days where I fluctuated between wanting to kiss Isabella's cheeks off or send her to bed early. WHEW!

Parenting makes you feel rather insane.

Repeating yourself  or a certain action over and over expecting a different outcome, isn't that a sign of insanity? Well, it's a regular practice here.

I love my kids and I wouldn't change a thing, but...

I. Am. Pooped.

I keep holding my breath hoping that my groove is just around the corner, but just when I think I have found it, it sneaks away like the hamburgler, never to be seen again, or least not until next week.

I just revealed my age by referencing the hamburgler. Google it.

I keep seeing my other mom friends and they seem to have it so together. As a general rule I try to avoid mom comparison, as it is unhealthy and only fosters discontent, but gee whizz, it's hard to miss these moms. How do they have time for such fabulous hair and make-up?! And all those pretty selfies? If I were to take a selfy right now it would look like a mug shot for a backwood's county girl caught shoplifting eyeshadow at the local Big Lots. 

So is there something I am missing?! Some magical mom serum? a Pandora's box of mom secrets that I am just totally missing out on?  I'm just going to be bitter and go ahead and say I bet it took them all day to look that perfect and underneath that pretty headshot of them in their car they have spit-up on their pants and baby poop under their manicure.

I feel better now. 

My roots aren't done, I look like I'm sporting ombre hair, my eyebrows need their own zipcode, and don't even get me started on my toenails.

I'm trying not to wallow, can you tell? ;-) instead I will focus on these moments I captured throughout my day today...if I'm feeling down I will just look at these sweet faces, and sniff a baby head.

Yep. I feel better now :)

I haven't blogged since Easter...

Huh, can't imagine what has kept me so distracted. 

Lets just say...three children? It's a zoo. I feel so duped! Nobody warned me about the mayhem, the laundry, the mess, the grossness, the laundry, the mere fact that going anywhere, and I do mean anywhere, is an act of congress, oh, and did I mention the laundry?

I guess they must have been distracted by all of the snuggles and sweetness. There is never a shortage of snuggles in this house :) And nobody's arms are ever empty for long! 

I will post my birth story eventually, but right now I'm just reveling in it all. Watching Isabella as a big sister, and David as a daddy to these little bitty babies, it's a lot for one heart to handle.

When I was pregnant I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to love them all, that I wouldn't have enough to go around, and all my friends and relatives reassured me, no way, man not possible, you'll have enough...

I didn't understand it until after they were here...it was a major ah-ha moment. You DO love them all equally, you just love each one differently. It's so neat. 

Isabella is my sweetheart, my little nurturer, always looking out for others.

Nora-Jane is my quiet, calm little angel. Observes everything that goes on around here, whose face lights up with a face-splitting smile whenever you make eye-contact.

Beckett. Oh, Beckett. He is my little lion man. What little bit of fuzzy hair he has is bright red, a little angry at times, and LOUD. He knows how to get what he needs when he needs it, lets just say that :) 

I cannot believe they are almost three months old!

Here they are hours after birth

and here they are now...Beckett is putting up his dukes...

More to come soon...I have been trying to find a moment to write this post for about, uhm...13 hours :-P

Easter re-cap

This is the only Easter picture I took this year.

It's been an off year. 

I even let Isabella choose her own dress from a...*gasp* department store rack. Not something I have EVER done. 

But she clutched it to her bosom and pleaded so earnestly, those big blue eyes just glimmering with hope...

I'm a pushover. 

So I put aside my hopes of that heirloom, robin's egg blue smocked bishop, and well...I tried really hard to be at peace with the polyester. It made her so happy. And she said on Easter morning with her little lisp that it was "Her princeth dreth" (princess dress)

Easter Eve we went to dye Disney princess eggs...only to find they had forgotten to put our dye tablets in the box. Luckily I'm a pushover...and I had bought her the two kits she wanted instead of just the one...so we dyed majestic eggs instead. 

we only got to hunt them outside once...because it rained.

See? Off year. 

Easter night...she woke David and me up at 2:00 am...fever blazing and her entire body covered with a horrible, itchy, angry red rash.

I didn't have a single tube of itch cream or a single drop of childrens Benedryl in the house. But David was dressed and ready to go to the store in five minutes to get her some itch cream and Benedryl.

He is so good. So very good.

But finally around 3:15 she fell into a feverish sleep and forgot to scratch...so we waited until this morning and headed straight back to the Pediatrician.

SIGH

It's a relapse of her virus, which means all our fun Spring Break plans were cancelled, tears were shed, and she and I partook in a 3 1/2 hour marathon nap.

Just now she crawled up in my lap...which is always a sign of a sick Bella...she seldom has time for such snuggles. 

So I have all three of my children squirming. Two in my belly are writhing angrily as they grow and lose space...and one on my lap is squirming restlessly to get comfy around the large bubble blocking her usual nest she makes against me.

In other news, I ate an entire Pepperidge Farm coconut cake.

I hope everyone had a lovely Easter...I'm off to snuggle a Bella.

Just another day in paradise

Today I managed to get absolutely nothing accomplished besides putting one load of laundry away and cooking David's Favorite Pasta for dinner.

I made a grocery list then didn't go to the store. I took a shower, and didn't do my hair. There's always tomorrow, I suppose.

 I took an anemic 2 hour nap. which only made me more tired,

and the supper dishes are piled in the sink, but now I'm ready for bed. Truly.

Yesterday I had an agenda, to have lunch at work with my handsome man, and then to the grocery store before I picked Isabella up from school....but right as I was stepping into the shower, the shool nurse called.

Does anyone else's heart stop when the school nurse calls?

My poor baby had vomited all over the gymnasium floor. When I got to the school, she was lying her head on her desk while her classmate's ate Easter Party cupcakes, I asked her how she felt and she told me she wanted to come home and rest...uh-oh.

She vomited in the car in an Easter treat bag on the way home.

Then she vomited again at home...right before she fell into a deep feverish sleep.

A trip to our pediatrician set my mind at ease about it not being the flu, but my baby has a humdinger of a virus.

This little face breaks my heart. 

We spent the entire day on the couch, sipping water and snuggling. We watched Max And Ruby's Easter and Peter Rabbit about 5 times apiece. Her fever broke around 9:30 p.m. and right before she fell asleep holding my hand, she sleepily told me I was the best mom in the world. A bag full of diamonds couldn't make me more happy than that.

Today she was much better. Still slightly feverish, and a few tummy troubles...but she was up and playing like normal and BEGGING for some of the candy out of her school treat basket. She had lined up every piece on the couch but wouldn't eat any until she had permission. 

She breaks my heart wide open.

We were pleased that our neighborhood visitor paid us a call this morning. He was curled up asleep in his spot...waiting for his bowl of tuna. We have no idea where he lives, and he's not fixed nor does he wear a collar...but he's plump and well taken care of. We love him and his random visits...and he knows he'll always get a bowl full of tuna on our front porch. 

Maybe we will nick-name him Tuna.

Isabella was in and out of the house all afternoon, administering cuddles, talking to him and generally disturbing his marathon cat nap.

At one point she picked me a bouquet of "flowers" out of our overgrown front lawn :) 

Better than a dozen roses :)

Perfect!

Tonight I snuggled her close, it dawned on me how quickly she's growing up...how one day I am going to wake up and she will be too cool for me, too cool to hold my hand at night...

I can't bear that thought.

So I snuggled her until her little warm body went limp in my arms...that is the most glorious sensation...to snuggle your child until they succumb to sleep. 

I did my best to kiss every freckle on her sweet little nose, sniffed her clean hair, held her hand and looked at her fingernails...they had crayon underneath them.

It's probably the cocktail of pregnancy hormones surging through my veins...but I could have cried out of gratitude. Being a mom is the fiercest kind of love I have ever encountered. It's draining, exhausting, all encompassing, protective, sometimes trying, but oh man...it IS the best.

So tonight, even though I pretty much did nothing all day long...I am so grateful for this day I had. Grateful for my sweet little one, grateful for motherhood in general. I'm humbled by my blessings, I don't deserve them, but God has given them to me anyway...it makes me want to gather up my young, protect them and do the best job I can possibly do to raise them right, because I know I'm not entitled to these sweet babies I have, they are special gifts that have been entrusted to me to care for and nurture. 

It is both thrilling and terrifying, but more wonderful than words can describe!

3rd trimester blues...A TMI post.

So I have arrived at my final destination. The Third Trimester. There aren't any left after this one...the big event is only weeks away, meaning...in less than 12 weeks I will go from being the mother of one, to the mother of three. 

This milestone is riddled with curiosities for me. 

And strange symptoms. 

First of all, I'm a little blue. I'm almost sad because now that I know I have inherited the genetic potential to produce doubly...this will undoubtedly be my last pregnancy. Like ever. Truth be told...when I'm not feeling tired, run down, nauseous, or just downright crappy...I love being pregnant. I love tracking their growth and feeling their sweet little movements. Something about carrying them with me throughout my day, feeling them move about...it's just so sweet and natural.

I'm also...VERY relieved. It's almost over! I can't wait to sleep on my stomach, not tinkle on myself when I sneeze, not crave an angus burger at 1 a.m., not cry at Dawn soap commercials where they wash the grease off the baby duck, not dream lucid dreams that cause me to wake up feeling guilty, sheepish or confused...I can't wait to, ya know...feel normal.

I also can't wait to bend down and pick things up off the floor. Lately, I just use my feet if it's something important, or I wait until Isabella gets home from school. 

Strange things have definitely been happening to me. For instance...my milk came in. At 26 weeks. This did NOT happen to me with Isabella until about three days after she was born. I knew things would be different with two...but that one really shocked the pants off of me, not to mention it grossed out my husband. When I told him, I really thought he was going to hit the ceiling and cling to it with his claws like a cartoon cat. 

 He regards that area with a dubious expression and a healthy amount of space these days. No amount of reassurance on my part that no, they will NOT erupt "at him" is enough to convince poor ole daddy. 

I can't wait for him to change his first baby boy diaper. 

I have officially started my preparations.

I waddle about, nesting here, organizing there. I have a long list of freezer meals to prepare and stockpile my freezer. A menu for those first few weeks of mayhem planned out in my head and ready to be comprised onto paper. I'm busily sewing sweet little pink and blue bits for when my bundles arrive. And thanks to our wonderful group of family and friends, we have already amassed an impressive stockpile of diapers and wipes, which I have organized in the "baby closet"

Construction on the "Surprise-It's-Two-Room" we're adding onto our house is drawing to an end as well.

We are blessed.

So now, without further ado, the 27 week belly. Brace yo-self!!!!

The spots on the image are toothpaste. I took this in Isabella's bathroom, and lets just say, her aim leaves a lot to be desired...as does my gumption for cleaning mirrors.

Our snow was melted completely by Wednesday evening, and since then we have been enjoying sunny spring-like days...of course. 

Yesterday I had big plans for a Dr. visit to see the twins, and some major productivity while Isabella was at school...but she woke me up with projectile vomit, which lasted all throughout the day, so we spent the afternoon snuggled in bed watching movies and the evening sleeping cheek to cheek. I'm not complaining :)

Thankfully she was better by the next morning, so I had no excuse to keep her home another day :( I did however, pick her up from school at the earlier time. I wanted to take her with me to choose our seeds for this summer's garden. I was excited to get to Lowe's with her. That girl loves choosing seeds!

But as fate would have it...I bumped right into my mom and dad...Isabella immediately took off with Granddaddy, leaving me to browse the seeds at leisure and pick my mom's brain for various gardening tips.

We went ahead and started our tomato plants today. Isabella is very gleefully showing me her "green thumb"

We chose three different varieties. Heirloom Brandywine pinks, Brandywine reds (so I can harvest my own seeds for next year!)...and Isabella's selection, Bush Big Boys.

My mom's thrifty idea for seed tags...cut up milk jugs and label them with a Sharpie. 

Seeds!

I do love that tiny little hand.

Our little starter sits by the back door, a prime spot for that morning and afternoon sun. 

My helper proved herself to be quite proficient!

I was surprised at how careful and deliberate she was with this project...considering she usually moves like a bull in a china shop...

Oh, but we have big plans. Last year's two beds just won't do...one more large bed for my vegetables and another smallish bed for my herbs ought to do it for now. I plan on being knee deep in dirt all this spring and summer...that is until these babies force me to the hospital :)