An open letter to my girls

It's a scary time to be a girl. Even scarier, I think, to be raising girls. 

It's a cruel society of mean girls, social media bullying, fat shaming, religion bashing, immoral, corrupt, reality-tv-wannabes, the meaner and more drama the better and the list goes on and on. 

This has been on my heart for a while. Things I have learned throughout life, some the hard way, I want my daughters to carry with them, things I want them to know and I hope I teach them...things I hope that I enforce so strongly in my parenting that they are embedded in the very cores of their souls and can't be shaken no matter what. I finally decided it was time to pen it out. So here it is...an open letter to my girls.

To my girls, my freckle-nosed oldest, with a heart so kind and pure it makes me ache with love and protectiveness. And my blue eyed baby...my silly girl with a laugh so hearty that she spreads joy all around. 

Isabella and Nora-Jane

There is nothing in this world that could ever shake my love for you. I may not always like what you do, but my love is unconditional. I will always build you up publicly. I will never shame you. If there ever comes a time I feel you need constructive criticism or a reprimand, it will be in private. You are my prides and joys. My beautiful women. And of you I will always be proud.

Don't take yourself seriously. Life is nothing but a big learning curve, so take a big swig of that bottle over there labeled Sense Of Humor and be prepared to laugh at yourself. A lot. Besides, nobody likes a Serious Sally ;-)

Pray. Pray in public. Pray in private. Pray yourselves to sleep. Prayer will get you through anything, my loves. And I do mean anything. The more you talk to Him, the more He talks to you.

Scuff up your knees you pray so much. Which leads me to....

 ...listen for the whisper. That "feeling" you get when you're doing something that you're not sure about? That is the holy spirit saying "No, No, No!" listen for it, and for the love of your mama, HEED it. That feeling you get when you're praying about a situation or a person you love? That tingly feeling of adrenalin in your heart? That's the Holy Spirit saying "I am here." Memorize that feeling.

Always stay true to yourself, not the cliche kind...but the soul kind. You will find yourself in many sticky situations throughout this life. ALWAYS choose kindness. No matter what. You will never regret kindness, but you will always regret knowing that you hurt someone you cared about.

People will lie about you. Spread rumors. Assassinate your character. Let them. The only opinion you need to worry about is the one upstairs. The people in your life that truly know you and care about you won't give those words a second thought. This is easier said that done. PRAY.

Never stop trusting friends. Not all people are bad. You're going to get burned a time or twelve...but don't let that stop you from building new relationships. When we allow ourselves to be defined by the past, we close ourselves off to new friendships. God has so many amazing people for you to meet. Don't take that away from Him just because someone didn't value your confidence enough to keep it.

Don't let your past define you...let it refine you. Mistakes are for us to learn from. And if you're anything like your dear old mams...you'll have a decent resume of mistakes to choose from. USE them. Learn from them...we can use everything for God's glory. Everything. 

Be silly. 

Love with your whole heart, every time. This is not being naive, this is being wise enough to know bad circumstances aren't permanent if we don't want them to be. Fall in love...get your heart broken....then fall in love again. Our hearts are amazing things. They will take a beating in life...but bind them up, let them heal with that sweet balm of time, then unbind them and use them again. Sweet girls you will be so glad you didn't lock your heart away. 

Nobody likes a Bitter Betty ;-)

Practice Faith. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.

Don't be afraid to ask for respect. We teach people how to treat us, and what we allow is what will continue. It's okay to want to be treated with respect, and it's okay ask for it.

Don't stay in dead relationships because you fear the fall-out. Fall-outs can be bad and scary...but they don't last forever. You may be lonely for a season, you may lose a few friends...but you will never be alone. When you release yourself from a toxic relationship, you're respecting yourself enough to know when to walk away. You will gain so much knowledge from these experiences...and you will learn how to recognize and foster true and genuine relationships as a result. Face that fire with your head held high.

Never be ashamed of your spirituality. He made you the way you are for a reason. 

Don't ever, EVER "vent" or talk badly about your husbands to anyone. Ever. Call me if you need to.

Look for a man who brings you a dozen donuts instead of a dozen flowers. Fills your car up with gas instead of buys you jewelry. Tells you you're lovely, not hot. Lets you walk through the doorways first because you're the lady. Tells you you need to eat MORE because you're looking thin, basically, look for a man like your daddy.

Dress for your body type. Love your skin. God gave you this body to use for His glory, love it, don't hate it. Every shape can be stunningly beautiful with the correctly fitting clothing and proper accessories. Dress modestly....I know when you're teenagers this will go out the window...but try and learn from your fashion faux pas and take pictures so we can look back on them and laugh.

Get that tattoo if you must, but start with something small that no one can see and keep it for a few years...chances are you won't be the same woman ten years from now. Trust your mother on this one.

 Pierce anything but your mouth-parts. Yuck. Disgusting. Don't do that.

Always keep a tube of red lipstick, and never get drunk in public. That's just sloppy and not classy.

When you hear a gaggle of girls crucifying another girl with their words, pray for the girl they're talking about. 

Always form YOUR OWN opinions of people. Never judge a person by someone else's gossip. 

Don't make fun of people with others, even if they can't hear you. You will regret it. Trust your mother on this one.

Never stop doing nice things for people. Continue to bless others, but don't run yourself ragged. Sometimes you will feel like your gestures go unappreciated, do them anyway, it's not for you, it's for Him.

Don't hold back because of someone else's jealousy of you. Don't allow someone who is bitter about their own life and choices, to put a damper on your joy. Enjoy your blessings, don't brag, but enjoy them, praise God for them and be as happy as you want to be! Their attitudes are their problems, not yours.

Remember that there are always consequences for your actions, and they're not always immediate.

Never entertain jealousy. What a waste! We all have different journeys...count your blessings any time you feel yourself getting pulled into Satan's snare of jealousy. Always rejoice for other people's blessings. Be the friend that everyone wants to share their good news with first. Your life and your friend's lives will be an ebb and flow...your up-time might be her down-time, her down-time might be your up-time... remember that and show grace to yourself.

Never respond to hate. When someone accosts you, be it in person or otherwise, silently walk away. This is not being a doormat. This is setting yourself to a higher standard.

Not everyone is going to like you, no biggie....that just frees up space for more awesome people.

Be a fruit checker! Observe those around you, observe their fruits, what types of emotions do they produce in the ones around them? How do they interact with others? Are they gossipers or are they prayer warriors? Know them by their fruits. Gravitate towards women who build each other UP.

Never allow yourself to be in a compromising situation with a gentleman you don't know. We will be talking about carry permits as soon as you're old enough.

DREAM! No dream is too big and there is NOTHING you cannot do. I have faith in you. Don't be afraid to reach up there and snatch that dream right out of the clouds and make it real. Don't EVER be afraid to fail, failures happen, they're nothing to be ashamed of and they're all a part of the beautiful process. You can do it, my loves.

Always apologize when you have been wrong. This may be awkward, and it may be ill-received. They may accept it, then turn around and UN-accept it. But that's not your problem...it's your job to say I'm sorry. And mean it.

Forgive. This one is tricky. Prayer helps. But believe me when I tell you, forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person. When you forgive, you free yourself from the shackles of bitterness and resentment. On the same token, just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean you have to waltz right back into their dance. You can love from afar, and truth be known, there will be times in your life that for your own well-being you will have to love from afar. Love them, forgive them, bless them and don't stop praying for them.

Grace, grace, grace. Use it. Give it. Own it and thank the Lord for it. 

Never put on airs, always be honest...the minute you get cocky is the minute you'll trip over the curb of life. Trust your mother on that one.

Always be mindful of what you put into your mind. Just because it's a New York Times best seller or a box office blowout doesn't mean you need to see it or read it. Our spirits are fragile and it's our responsibility to guard them. Just remember, garbage in, Garbage out. 

Never change who you are to try and get people to "like you" If they don't automatically want to be your friend upon meeting you, that's truly their loss. No person is worth compromising yourself for.

And finally. 

Wait for God's timing. Don't rush things or get swept up into something that feels out of your control. If you're feeling overwhelmed and scared then it's not from Him. Any door He opens for you will be accompanied with peace. He knows what He is doing, and when we try to take control we risk a tremendous catastrophe. When we wait and trust in Him, He blesses us beyond our wildest dreams. I should know, He gave me you :)

I love you more'n my luggage.

-Mom

Seasons change!

Oh my!!! Has it really been April since my last post?

It's amazing the directions your life can go in 7 months. 

My babies are nearly 1 1/2 

 *dies a little inside*

I no longer nurse them to sleep.

*dies again*

Isabella is thriving beautifully in homeschool. We have made some wonderful new friendships, she LOVES our new co-op, and we love that peaceful easy feeling of home learning. 

We finally placed membership at our sweet church that we have attended for a few years now. We love it so. We have a warm and welcoming church family that we feel so blessed by!

Our not-so-little-anymore family is going in some really exciting directions! God has placed so many opportunities in our path lately. Some we have been intimidated by, but we trust Him and He never disappoints.

All of this being said...I'm moving blogs. Again. 

 I want to shift focus...those darned winds of change :) 

This blog was originally created to promote my shop, and my projects, and for me to post tutorials...My NEW blog won't even be mine at all. It will be ours. Meaning, everyone in the family will be contributing. Isabella is old enough to contribute now, and believe you me, she has lots of stories to tell! And David wants to do a little divulging as well. I've always loved being able to write and share, and I REALLY love that my family wants to join in the fun. 

We will chronicle our little travels, creations, recipes, adventures, triumphs, giggles and sweet moments...and certainly a few trials, (hopefully very few)

I'm working on having all of my previous posts combined and made into a book so that we can keep them to look back on. I consider these my virtual scrap books, it's also therapeutic for this mama :)

Life is beautiful! The beauty is everywhere...if you squint real hard.

Thanks for bearing with me!

Oh, these days!

These past few days my attitude has been bad. 

BAD.

I have complained about my home's open floor plan and lack of decorating potential, my hair that I'm trying to grow out, my schedule, how hard it is to go anywhere, the drawer on my stove that hangs crooked, my kids, my husband...

Bad. 

Ever have days like that?

Yesterday and today were no exceptions!

I have been alone with all three kids for a couple of days, so I'm pooped, (but that's no excuse) It's hard not to feel a wee bit of resentment when your hubby is sleeping uninterrupted in a hotel, eating uninterrupted dinners in a restaurant, and enjoying adult interaction...it's business and work, but still, I'm going to the bathroom with an audience, hoping nobody dies while I'm in the shower, and eating half of a banana while driving one kid to Karate.

But this is the life! I know this. I attitude check myself regularly. But still, I am  human after all. 

This morning, I was hoping I would wake up and feel peace and a new perspective. 

I did not.

I bickered with my husband over something stupid, didn't get my kiss and hug before he left for work, the twins screamed blood-curdling-wake-the-neighbors-screams while I stood at the stove making their Cream of Wheat, and quite frankly...I just wasn't Mary Poppins today. 

I've been in a spiritual rut lately. Going to church is no longer enjoyable for me because I just sit in the nursery for 2 hours, basically it's just a scenery change for the twins to play somewhere new.

I have no desire to read my bible. No desire to LISTEN even if an earth shattering message were to smack me in the face. Stubborn.

I just feel yucky. 

Ever have seasons like that?

The temptation to pile my children in the van and head to Target for some good old fashioned retail therapy is overwhelming me.
But is blowing our budget on cute shirts and nick knacks really going to solve my attitude?
Probably not.

It sure would be fun though.

I might still do it.

 I was rocking Nora Jane to sleep for her nap, and delighting in her pudgy softness snuggled against me, and it eased into my mind as subtle as a whisper...gratitude.
I've been reading this book called Mindset For Moms, it's written by Jamie Martin, and I recommend it so whole heartedly.
I think it is starting to resonate in me.

I rocked my sweet girl, taking note of every dimple in her elbows and hands, their baby-hood is flying by, I feel an urgent need to savor. She emitted one of those heavenly baby sighs and wished I could rock her as long as she would allow, but remembered I had two other kids waiting on me...so I smooched her fat cheeks, rubbed my cheek across her hair, sniffed her sweet scent...heard some loud crashes coming from the living room, and reluctantly laid her down in her crib.

When I came out of the nursery I was greeted by Isabella, happily sweeping the living room, and Beckett grinning his gap-toothed grin and clutching his favorite ball which he immediately dropped as he crawled warp speed to greet me.
These kiddos were happy to see ME...grouchy, ungrateful, unappreciative me. My oldest was "helping" me. My middle couldn't get to me fast enough, and my youngest had only wanted me to snuggle her to sleep.

Humbled.

Grateful. That's what I am. Grateful that I've been alone while my hubby is on business, because it means he is working hard so that I can stay home with my kids and homeschool.
Grateful for my busy schedule because it means my kiddos are well adjusted and making friends.
Grateful for my cluttered open floor plan home because it houses my family and allows me to keep an eye on my busy crawlers at all times.

Now instead of feeling annoyed, I feel guilty for being so ungrateful. It's amazing how counting your blessings can so quickly adjust your attitude!

A day in the life.

I get a lot of "How do you do it?!" whenever I tell people that I homeschool...well, I don't really ever know how to answer that on any given day. 

I go into a day with a set plan, but with twins, you really just have to be open and willing to go with the flow...and some days that flow is easier than others. 

But for the most part, a typical day of homeschooling with infant twins goes something like this.

Wake-up, ice cold diet coke and a few minutes of blessed silence (and maybe a shower if I'm lucky, but usually no shower) before my kids all awake. OR I sleep in while Hubby gets ready for work, and I wake up in the midst of mayhem. Either way, diet coke IS involved.

Kids all wake up and it's diaper changes then breakfast time for all. This can take anywhere from an hour to an 1.5 hours when you count in clean-up.

Then Nora takes a 30-45 minute cat nap and then wakes up. This is like clock-work for her Every. Day.

Right now we're beginning our mornings by reading out of our new book. This is a great book for kids. It's an adaption of Pilgrims Progress. It's a sweet little story about a mouse traveling to the Evergreen Wood. I explain the symbolisms to Isabella as we read. 

Babies play while Isabella and I set the timer and do a 15 minute clean-up of the house, these are very productive, WAY more productive than any other cleaning regimen I have tried. I usually put in a load of laundry and assign Isabella a few little age appropriate chores. I always involve her with this because I think it's important for kids to take a roll in caring for the home. 

Plus it allows me to dole off the tasks I don't want to do. Just kidding. Kinda...

Time to clean up the table for school! I left a mess during my crafting time last night. I have Bella sort my little pieces into empty baby food containers. I knew I saved those things for a reason!

Beckett needs to nurse and lets me know he is READY for his morning nap, unfortunately, my twins do not nap at the same time, I have pretty much tried every trick in the book. 

So I get him asleep. Then...

...Nora lets me know that she has a surprise for me.

It's a doo-doo explosion.

The brown smear you see by her arm is totally poop. It was everywhere.

Time to hit the books! Isabella and I begin doing language arts

 

 

 Meanwhile...Nora rolls all around the room.

By now they're both hungry. So It's play time for those two while I make some lunch. 

Now Nora lets me know (quite loudly) that SHE is indeed, now ready for her "big nap" She is very easy to get to sleep...

 

But now guess who's awake? 

 

 

 Isabella and I do our math lesson, and I leave her at the table to begin her work sheets so that I can stuff the diapers and put a load of dirties in.

This here's my wet bag. It's full of dirty diapers. Unzip it and take a whiff, I dare you. 

 

I fill one of these puppies up about every two days. Then I just dump the whole kit-n-kaboodle into the washer and they come out looking like...

...this!

This here's my pile of clean diapers. They smell lovely and fresh.

There's always a pile of clean un-stuffed diapers somewhere in my house. I wonder what it feels like to have it all together and have organized cloth diapers? 

I'll let you know what that feels like if it ever happens. 

Hubby and I text back and forth sporadically...he's patient. And loving. And I love him. He sends me texts like,

 I love you, how is your morning?

And I text back stuff like,

HEY look at this picture of poop on Nora's back, it kinda looks like Elvis! Oh yeah I love you too. 

Or, 

I have spit up crusted on my shirt collar. Coming home for lunch?

  Isn't technology grand?

Time for another one of these.

And then I decide that it's time to dip into my chocolate reserves...only, some little scallywag got into my chocolate and there's only two pieces left. 

So I do what every loving mother would do...I hide from my kids and I eat them myself.

I like how the bag says "Easy to eat!" As if I've ever been in the middle of stuffing my gob and thought to myself,

you know I'm really having a hard time eating this entire bag of chocolate...

 

I also would like to point out that I always keep a perfect manicure. My nails are never chipped.

Sike!

 

So there you have it, throw in some meltdowns, maybe another poop or two, a few arguments with my 6-year-old and if I'm feeling feisty, a shower! 

WHOA! Lets not get too hasty here...ok, probably not a shower, but maybe a tooth-brushing?

 

Hubby gets home, somehow dinner gets cooked, and congratulations! You have survived another day. Please enjoy this moment of elevator music before you start the bedtime routine.

 

I love this life. Passes by like a minute. Soak it up, take pictures, document it...it shocks me how fast my weeks fly by these days. These little mongers have me wrapped around their fingers, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

Except maybe less poop.

Sent hubby off to work this morning without a flake in the air...but by mid morning an inch had already collected on the roads as he came shuffling through the front door. Yay! A snow day :)

Feeling very grateful for his schedule, even though I know he is stressing about make-up work and panicked e-mails from students. 

The selfish me is greedily excited that he's here and not there.

I carried on as usual, homeschooling Isabella, tending to the needs of the twins, hubby was afforded a front row seat to the day in the life of homeschooling, with Nora right in the middle of things :) We nearly always have a baby on the table with us.

Homeschooling an eager six-year-old, while flakes are violently swirling through the air outside, and two babies who need you, does not do much for attention spans ;-)

 Then both babies pooped up their backs and ruined their outfits and needed naps, so we took an extended break, ate lunch,then thankfully David stepped in and finished lessons with Isabella.

It's awfully convenient being married to a math professor :)

 

 

 Notice a baby in the middle? And a quite happy little chap I might add.

 

 

 

Isabella played outside with the neighborhood children until dusk, then came barreling in, rosy cheeked and chilled.

There's nothing more cozy than a warm house and rosy cheeked child just coming in from the snow. 

 

 

 

David gave us all a lesson in making snow cream, I was a little skeezed out. I ate a bite or two, but worried about snow collecting all of the pollution in the air. I might be a little paranoid.

 

 

 

After all of the littles were in bed asleep, I was finally able to snuggle up next to my man and watch the state of the union address. After about 20 minutes, one of the twins woke up, and then we were three.

but What a lovely, ordinary day. My most favorite kind. 

 

 

They're calling for snow all night, Isabella's pediatrician already called and cancelled her appointment for tomorrow, and David's work has already called off classes, I'm gearing up for potato soup and a crock pot full of hot cocoa. 

 

I am thankful for days at home with my favorite people. 

I'm also thankful for ruffled baby bottoms.

Sugar and spice

Yep, that's a pink sparkly bow in his hair, he had just been given a princess makeover. Yep, that's a pink fluffy bed, he had just finished tickling a little six year old until she begged for mercy. Yep, that's wee baby Nora asleep in his arms, he had been holding her because she was fussy.

Halfway through a tea party, or was it hotel service? I heard snoring...when I peeked in Isabella was quietly reading books to herself, and these two were down for the count. 

I couldn't resist taking a picture for bribery  posterity ;-)

I feel like I get lost in my days, caught up in my to-do lists and find myself brushing important stuff to the side. 

I know I'm not the only mom who does this, it's a common plight of motherhood, we are so busy doing all of the things that makes life comfortable and and easier for our family that we forget to enjoy...our family. 

As I sit here tonight, at nearly midnight, I have 2 out of 3 kids asleep. This is pretty huge right now in this current phase of our household. It is, as it turns out, a miracle when all of your children sleep  

at the same time. 

 But I digress...Ahem! Focus, man, focus. As I sit here tonight, I'm chastising myself for the moments I missed this week because I was too busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off. (And it's only Monday) True, I have twins with RSV, one freshly healed but still within the 2 week period, and one right in the feverish throngs...but here I am, Miss Chatisey Chastiser Chasttisenstien.

 

 My son is wide awake playing with the tag on his exersaucer and grunting. Always grunting. So I've really got nothing but time, here. 

 A few of my favorite moments from this weekend:

 1. 

I was vindicated about something that has plagued me for a couple of years now. 

It left me feeling powerful, like if I had been a cartoon, I would have been standing on a tall building, perfect eyebrows and busty, with my hair flowing and my toned (but not muscular) arms on my hips whilst gazing into the horizon.

Are you ready?

 I woke my husband up with my snoring. 

Yep, you heard me. ALL these (2) years he has startled me awake with his snortling and chortling...it's a huge problem.

So waking up the other morning, to have him announce with only a mild hint of annoyance "You were snoring a lot last night. Really cutting 'em. It woke me up"

MY, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!!

 It kinda felt like this...

2.

Isabella sang in her little church choir yesterday morning. It's always a joy. They are innocence incarnate, up there singing their little hearts out and whew! Gets me every time. 

They put a tall boy right in front of her, though. 

All I could see was her giant Christmas bow bobbing voraciously on top of that precious little head of hers. But watching that big ole bow was enough. 

It was enough.

It won't be long now until she fights the good fight and those hairbows are put asunder.

3.

I overheard my husband singing a very out of tune version of You Are My Sunshine to our sick little baby, because it's what I sing to them every night. He sang her to sleep.

I'm sorry, but until you've heard your man sing a lullaby to your baby...you just don't know true love.

My heart feels like this:

The end.